Well, the holidays are approaching. I did sign up for taking my CBSE exam. I am scheduled after the first of the year. I have really buckled down. Currently, I am reviewing pathology. I am using Pathoma and testing my knowledge with UWorld. I am finding that reading is still fundamental. That sounds like a smart response but sometimes when you read questions, you skip the content that has the answer with your eyes. Sometimes your eyes are very deceitful.
Thanksgiving was a very eventful time. My husband and I traveled to Atlanta to see family. Additionally, we drove to my hometown in North Carolina for him to meet some of my family that wasn't able to make it to the wedding. Unfortunately, we couldn't see everyone but just the chance to see a few family members was worth it.
Time with family is a good way to take a break. I only stress this because some IMGs study for a long time and while they are studying, they may forget about their family. Just remember that your family is there for you and they provide the perspective of why you are on this journey. I saw my brother for the first time in a year and a half. Honestly, I haven't had the money to go see him plus I kind of feel bad for him not being able to be at my wedding. I am glad that I was able to have my other brother there however. Spending the few hours with him made it seem a little like old times because he was responsive when I brought up a few "sensitive" stories.
This post is short but all I needed to say was that the last few weeks gave me more perspective as to where this journey is supposed to take me. I am appreciative and more powered up than ever. I now get where the video about procrastination being a choice comes from. To all medical students studying right now, CARRY ON!!! All the prayer warriors, CARRY ON!!!
But as for you, be brave and don’t lose heart, because your work will be rewarded!
Hello. I am sure that some people believe that I have fallen off the face of the earth. I just want to let you know that I have not. The last eight months have been fascinating.
After getting back from the cruise, I continued "studying." I say it like that because now, I don't think I was studying to the best of my ability. I retook the NBME on May 25, 2017. And you guessed it. I failed again. I was so angry with myself that I said I wasn't going to study for a while. Now, why would I do that? Waste of money to be in Chicago, right? Shouldn't I just go home?
Well, I could have gone back to Georgia with my parents or North Carolina where the rest of my family is but I don't want to look like a failure. But I have skipped over a little bit of information. Let's rewind to Easter Sunday. My boyfriend and I went to church as usual at the sunrise service. After service, we had breakfast at church and spoke to a few members socially. We came back to the apartment and worked on our computers for a while before getting the idea to go to Walmart. He finally got on one knee and asked me to marry him. <----- equals="" excitement.="" p="" that="">
So fast-forward to June after getting my NBME results, I decided just to plan a wedding since I was so angry at my progress which amounted to nothing. I was so upset, I called the school asking for reassurance, and I did not get the response I wanted to hear. So I made my path. I QUIT studying. A lot of people would say this is stupid and I agree. Looking back, I was stupid. I wasted a lot of time just looking online at wedding stuff I couldn't afford.
By now, you have realized that I like to defy the norm and if there is a cheapskate method for accomplishing a task, I take the risk. Well, I order the wedding dress on eBay from China. Yep. Pretty stupid idea but the dress came out very nice. The best part was it was less than $200. So in June, I flew to Atlanta, GA to try on my dress and get it altered because I did not want my fiance to see it. I also saw the wedding venue I booked the internet for the first time. I know this sounds like a disaster, but I promise this is on a medical student budget.
By now, I am teaching very regularly with Chicago Heart Training. July comes, and James gives me an alternate location where I teach weekly. I paid for the entire wedding with this extra money. And maybe a little bit on a credit card. Overall, it was a hot August wedding in Georgia. It wasn't over 60 people, and it was a great day. Here's a video of the big day. Unfortunately, YouTube caught some songs for copyright infringement, and one of the songs is missing, but the video is still great, however.
After the wedding, we went on our honeymoon. Our honeymoon was a 5-day cruise in the Caribbean. We had a blast. We visited Half Moon Cay, Grand Turk, and Nassau. We overate, laughed, enjoyed each other's company and beat one another at Connect 4.
Back to reality, my husband went back to work, and it was time for me to get back to work. We moved apartments just before going to Georgia to get hitched, so there was a little unpacking left to do. Then it was study time. I still was trying to work at Chicago Heart, but it wasn't working out. It was a big distraction with all the phone calls daily about classes and such. Plus it was heartbreaking to hear about the devastation of Hurricane Irma to Anguilla. So represent Anguilla well, it is time to study hard and get that MD!
So lately, I have been confined to my computer answering questions on UWorld and watching YouTube videos while reading through First Aid. It has been a challenge, but life is supposed to throw curveballs. No road is straight and narrow; they are all filled with hills and valleys. My family has been blessed. Although my brother has not recovered from his accident, I am still hopeful that God will heal him in the manner that He wants to heal my brother. My father will get a kidney if it is God's will. With the obstacles in my way, I still smile. And can only be happy and shout Hallelujah!
So, I will try to make this blog more of an accountability partner and write about the latest things I have studied. I am currently working on Biostatistics, Epidemiology and Behavioral Science. Next week, I plan to start on dreadful Pathology. My source for Pathology is the gold standard, Pathoma. I am excited to get going very hard and heavy. I have signed up to take the NBME during the testing period of December 25 through January 7, 2018 (I missed the deadline for the end of the year period). If anyone wants to be an additional accountability partner, don't hesitate to email me periodically and ask me questions.
Thanks for stopping by and have a BLESSED day!!
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Hello all! I know I should have written by now but I can't get out of the air. Literally.
So recently, my dad started having some health issues and I actually flew home to see him at the end of February. I actually skipped one of courses at Chicago Heart. I went to help my mom care for my dad. I came back to Chicago for a few days before going on a cruise for a week. I would just say that I needed that time to just relax. And I will say that I feel so much better. Well, unfortunately, I wasn't able to come back as planned because my dad started to get worse and I could only continue to pick the doctor's brains about the condition that he was in. Still he isn't what he was before all this happened but he is alive.
So I came back in time to take my NBME which I was not very optimistic about and I must say that I see what I am studying so hard for now. I don't know why I took so long to take it in the first place but I honestly should've taken it sooner. I can say that I probably have a clearer map of what my study schedule should be opposed to what it was. I also will add that I did not want to purchase UWorld until I got back from the cruise and I honestly probably should've subscribed sooner. I love this question bank so much better than the Kaplan Qbank we got access from the school. The lectures are there if I need them but I can clearly see that I wasted so much time going through that thing. But I don't want to give advise just yet because I am waiting for the results of my NBME at this point. I want to be optimistic about the results but realistically, I hadn't studied since February because all that has gone on. I tried to here and there but it was way too crazy for that to happen.
At this point, I am continuing to study for Step 1 aiming for a new goal of June. My original goal was to take the test in April but that has come closer than expected. I think now that I know what to be prepared for, I am not worried about anything else at this time. I would ask for continued prayers for my dad and his health and all the other students at this time also studying for Step 1. Match day was a while back and SJSM still hasn't posted anything about the people that have matched this year. I would presume a lot because the school has grown and more and more people are passing Step 1 than before.
So before I go, I promised some pictures of me while I was on the cruise so let me show you some of my happiness.
Chicago Car Show for My Birthday
Hair for my birthday!
Cruise boat: Carnival Fantasy
Towel animal while on the cruise
Cozumel's San Francisco Beach
I hope these few pictures do justice of all the fun I seemed to be having but I assure you that I am not having any fun with the UWorld questions. I would ask for continued prayers for success. I thank you all for reading about my adventures to becoming a doctor. If you have any questions about SJSM or Caribbean medical schools in general, please don't hesitate to send me a message and I try to respond within a few hours no matter what time of day it is.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I would just like to ask for forgiveness for leaving all of you out there hanging on what is going on with my life. I would just like to say that since the last time that I wrote, I have just been a busy little bee studying her life away. Honestly, AICM just included a rotation for a minimum of two hours per week of various doctors that you essentially watch or talk about how to treat patients. There were some doctors that were better than others but it is not my place to blast them on here. My friends and I enjoyed each of our rotations and learned from them differently. I would say the biggest things were the fact that everything was beginning to come together.
Honestly, while learning the material on the island, the information doesn't make any sense. Talking with the doctors made us understand that all those little details matter. Often, I have been told that I should be careful not to "over-study" but I beg to differ. Is there a such thing as over-studying for the Step 1? If anyone has an answer to that, I beg you to comment below so my friends can get some information from you.
So I am sure you are dying to find out what is going to happen next with me. Well, right now, I plan to just study like crazy. I honestly don't have anything coming up that is spectacular unless you mean my birthday in February and a cruise in March. Plus, when I get back from that, I plan to take the qualifying exam to take the Step 1 with school. I must agree that this is a really bad idea but it was something that was planned in advance and I didn't think that this would be how it worked out but unfortunately that is how my schedule is flowing right now.
Also, I am continuing to teach some BLS/HeartSaver courses here and there now that my partner in crime, James, is back around. If you would like more information about some of the trainings we offer, just visit www.trainchicagoheart.org. We are still working in conjunction with the Anguilla campus so you can expect some overlap. We successfully turned the Anguilla program over to two other lovely students who are doing wonderful with the program despite also being responsible for their coursework as well. I must say that I am extremely proud of them. They are featured in the Newsletter featured on the SJSM website.
Also, not relevant, but I am pictured in the January 2017 newsletter on page 5 reviewing an exam with some other classmates. I still remember that day and I must say that it was interesting to get my picture taken while discussing my exam with the professor. To recap, the picture was during my third semester which is considered the most difficult semester for students to master.
But other than these tidbits, what else do I have to show for myself? Umm.....would you like to see some of my Step 1 notes? I'm just kidding but if anyone still has any questions about anything, I am still happy to answer. I can take a 5-10 minute break every few hours to answer any burning questions that one would have about school.
Maybe before I end, I should explain what my hold up is right now so that people understand my path and where I am going. So right now, I am studying for the USMLE Step 1 which is a test taken by foreign medical graduates and American medical students alike. It is a test that determines your fate of what you are to become it seems like the good book does when we get to heaven. (Give me props for that analogy if you can!) My school has us (its students) take a qualifying exam (NBME) to determine if we are ready to sit for the Step 1. Upon passing that, we are allowed to sign up for the Step 1 and write that exam. The current passing score for the Step 1 is currently 192 with the average being in the 220s. Of course me, being the overachiever that I am, strive to be a little above that.
I already mentioned before that I plan to take the qualifying exam at the end of March. Based on the results of that exam, determines my next steps. My ultimate goal is to successfully pass the Step 1 by August so that I am able to participate in Match by 2019. So I asked for continuous prayers of my success in those endeavors. I also don't want to have a never ending cycle of repeating learning the same things over and over which also explain my sense of urgency. So if anyone is wondering why I am becoming a hermit, this should explain it all. So peace and quiet it shall be!
I extend hope and prayers for all the students that are currently studying with me and pray they all pass with the scores that they desire. Just know that my journey is far from over and it is continuing on. I am just at a mountain currently but I am climbing and I have the equipment necessary to reach the top. I will try to update you monthly throughout the journey with details of celebrating my birthday and going on the cruise plus the qualifying exam. Thank you all for your many well wishes.
Although Christmas has passed by a month, here's a family picture including my brother that was in the motorcycle accident on my iPad. Please continue to pray for his recovery.
Let’s not get tired of doing good, because in time we’ll have a harvest if we don’t give up.
Hey ya'll. So unfortunately, I have not been updating you as much as I used to because now it is time for the BIG GIRL studying to begin. Honestly, studying the subjects this time around is more crucial than before. This time I am studying for a big test called the USMLE Step 1 if you are not familiar. This test pretty much determines what type of doctor you will become. I have a goal in mind and I am sure with my faith that I can achieve that goal as well. I am doing my best to study as effectively as possible to understand and review some material.
So I am sure that people want to know exactly what I do all day. I literally wake up and begin making tea. Just kidding but I do that out of all honesty and then I get ready to go to class. So what is class like you might ask. Well, it consists of 3 hours of Kaplan videos. Being that the old program involved professors lecturing for 8 hours straight, I'll take 3 hours of videos I can speed up if I watched them on my own. So honestly, for that portion I don't "need" to be at school other than to sign in. Around 11 am, we have a professor that comes in to review some concepts by going through practice questions. I would understand why the school wouldn't choose their best professors but it is still helpful in seeing how the information is supposed to be incorporated into our learning.
Lunch is still at noon for an hour like it was on the island. Mondays are the days we learn material for the CS exam from a great instructor. He is very helpful and likes to challenge us to see if we remember material from basic sciences such as the brachial plexus and volume of distribution equation. Yea, we are supposed to remember that and yep, I forgot it. So those days happened but I can tell you that I won't forget it again.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays are reserved for clinicals. My first set of rotations is in family medicine. I really like this doctor and he somewhat reminds me of a certain professor on the island based on his intimidation but I enjoy it. He keeps us on our toes. I can honestly say that we have learned how to take a history and watched a lot of physical exams so far. I think everyone in my group has seen at least 5 patients thus far in our two-hour block for rotations. It may seem pointless to some but seeing what may be in my future is pretty exciting.
Thursdays and Fridays are set aside for Q/A sessions with the visiting professors. At this time, the professor can choose to go through questions on the topics and explain answers. I find the sessions really informative and I am starting to learn again that I know more information than I give myself credit for. Looking forward at this exam scares me greatly but I keep forgetting that I know more information than I give myself credit for.
Recently we completed the biochemistry section and since we didn't have a professor, my group and others went to the hospital like the overachievers that we are to take a scrub class for the surgery rotation we will have in a few weeks. I think you can say we had fun and I will let you judge.
A lot of people had opinions of this hospital and I really must say that I am impressed with the resources they have. They have a lot of medical students that are walking around with a variety of doctors as well. I find the strangest thing that there is actually no trauma centers on the South Side of Chicago so the fact that this hospital is in place without that is really nice. It is in a minority-based community so that was a prediction of the patients we were to serve.
Other than that, what have I done that was interesting? Well, I took a walk at the Navy Pier and Lake Michigan and studied. But that's about it!
It's not Anguilla but this Lake will do!
Lake Michigan
Lake Michigan
A Day at the park by Lake Michigan
Navy Pier
Navy Pier
Navy Pier
So after all of that, I will start to study again! Haha. It's like it never ends!!!!
"I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
We have 25 days in counting until our White Coat Ceremony and what am I doing for the occasion? Currently, I am studying. Hahaha. I have been trying to enjoy myself and study at the same time. One could say that's not hard at all but it can be. I want to say I did something while I lived here ya know. So what have I done in the past week?
Thursday, I went to dinner with some lovely friends and we enjoyed Japanese cuisine for dinner. I will also remind people that anywhere you go out to eat in Anguilla is usually at least $20 for one person to eat. This time, I was happy to report it was a lot of food and I left full which is unusual. This was called the Bento Box. I won't give any names of the restaurant but one could figure them out once they get here. But this place had very good food. It may have earned a spot to stop by at when my family gets here.
Friday, I was very studious and stayed at school to "study." I was practicing questions for my upcoming pathology exam this week. Yes, I study that far in advance. I have to make my audience, family and friends proud of me!
Saturday morning I decided to have breakfast out. Why? I don't know. Maybe to make myself feel better. I will say this bagel with egg and cheese made me feel a lot better. I usually get a slice of lemon cake to go with it because it is so moist and delicious as well. And this restaurant is also easy to guess. I think others would enjoy their prices as well because they are more affordable maybe because it's breakfast. And of course, afterwards, I went to school to study my life away.
Late Saturday night, I decided that I would wake up on Sunday to watch the sunrise. Yea, I guess I rolled over when I heard my alarm go off at 4:30. The sun rises here at about 5:45 but I wanted to be really early so I knew I would catch it. But either way, I woke up at 6 am mad at myself but I still wanted a little bit of adventure before I started my weekly chore of meal prepping for the week. So I decided to drive over to Island Harbor which is about 20 minutes from my apartment and enjoy a croissant from my favorite bakery. I actually have a picture of their croissants in one of my first post from the island before the ant infestation that I had. Let's just say, I ate the croissant and then realized that I had no proof for the world to see that I had them. I would just give you the menu and the schedule so that it is made known of the times that they are open. While I was over that way, I decided to take a few pictures of the boats and scenery. I would say it's beautiful.
Island Harbor, Anguilla
And then on Monday, I learned how to perform a pelvic exam for females and conduct a male exam. Let's just say it was an interesting morning learning about catheter placement, pap smears and checking for inguinal hernias. This day was very special being that it was our last lab session for the semester because next block is full of Carnival. It's that time of year again in case you forgot. Maybe this time I will go observe some things and take a few pictures as well.
My first pap smear with a manikin
And last but not least, today, Tuesday. We now have 25 days until we receive our precious white coats. And I will say that the feeling is becoming bitter sweet. We finished class early so my friends and I decided to go and eat at another restaurant. Did I mention that we were trying to experience as much as possible before we leave? This restaurant is pretty affordable. Most of the dishes are less than $15 and it happens to be close to school. The only downfall is there isn't a view and they are slow. But that is anywhere on the island honestly. I think it is just that the sense of urgency that we have in the US isn't here which is a good thing. Gives a more relaxed feeling.
Well that's my story of this weekend. Next week, I will try to update you guys on my adventures of the weekend because I only have 3 weekends left before I am officially finished with the island.
I would also add that my brother is doing well. He is still receiving treatment in the rehab facility. He is supposed to be getting moved to long term care facility soon but a facility hasn't been chosen as of yet. If he goes to a long term care facility, he most likely won't receive the rehab that he receives now so I set up a Go Fund Me page to raise money for that. If you would like to donate or share the fundraiser, it would be greatly appreciated. The link is here RC's Go Fund Me.
I also forgot to mention that James and I were kind of featured in the newspaper the Anguillian for teaching the CPR course for the community members. You can view that article here.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
Hello followers! I greatly apologize for my absence. Not only is it my fourth semester here on the island, it has been a true test of my faith. This semester is the semester of joy because you finally get the feeling that you see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's when you can say you're moving back home even though it is really a move to Chicago, IL for the next two years of your life. But I will say that I am grateful for all of it. The road of life was never meant to be a straight road into the sunset because then there would no purpose for trials and tribulations that present as the curves, hills and bend in the road.
A few weeks ago, I posted that I was unable to talk about what was going on. Before then, it was joy from passing my cumulative exams. After passing those exams, I was involved in a parking lot accident. I backed into another car that was coming into the parking lot. Just a little advice: look up some of the laws or have really good friends who know the laws very well in another country. In the US, the fault would be the individual driving forward and not the person reversing but that isn't the case here. Too bad, I didn't learn this was the law until two weeks later after talking with many individuals including the police who never informed me of such a thing. But that now is resolved and insurance will take care of it.
In other news, I began studying for classes after that and finished the last season of Grey's Anatomy. I treated myself to some snacks and buckled down studying. This semester is mostly a review semester because not much material is actually taught. Well let me rephrase that. We have a big class that consists of mostly review and then the other three small classes we learn bit by bit. I would say we have a bit more free time due to the lack of busy work that is required this semester. Overall, I like it although it seems a little harder than the others. Maybe because we're so close to the part where we start to study for Step 1 but I don't know.
Everything was starting off well into the semester and then I received a phone call. My youngest brother was involved in a motorcycle accident.
You can never predict how the path in life is going to go. You can plan to go straight but who's to say that God won't have turn left to turn right later to get back on track. It would have been nice to know that this semester would be like the others and only thoughts of passing my classes but it didn't work like that.
My brother was driving to see his great grandmother when a vehicle turned in front of him. He only rode a motorcycle to save on gas. My brother doesn't speed and doesn't attempt any tricks on his motorcycle. He just left from visiting his uncle's house. Even routine things can turn into disaster. My brother is now recovering from a traumatic brain injury. I think the part that hurt the most is knowing exactly what the doctor was saying because of all the classes I've taken. Afterall, I know that physicians are not gods. Plus I know who the great Physician is! So I continue to pray for my brother in his recovery. It seems thus far, it is at the pace of a turtle however.
So after flying home unexpectedly and the cost of moving to Chicago from Atlanta, my life is looking pretty swell. I knew this journey would come at the cost of bad credit, threatened relationships and other things. Never would I have predicted this. Because this is my last semester and I know I probably won't be back on the island for a very long time if I decide to come back, I am trying to experience as much as possible. Unfortunately it may hurt my pockets but I will have some good experiences and food while I am at.
Mmmm. Breakfast!
Seven weeks from today, I will graduate from the island and receive my white coat. The excitement I feel is beyond my wildest dreams. I am very anxious about what the future holds for me. I am excited to see what the Lord will lead through in Chicago. The price of apartments could be depressing but on the other hand, it is the chance to be a plane ride away from loved ones. Now, it is a plane ride with layovers that add up to over 12 hours most of the time. Just being able to hold family in your arms is always de
sired. My maternal-grandma, grandpa and boyfriend will be present for this special day. I will be sure to post a link on all social media about viewing the ceremony online. It will most likely be starting around 4 pm as the other traditional programs have began.
I want to thank everyone who has crossed my path to this point. To the people that have helped me in any way, shape or form thank you. Even if it was as small as a like on Facebook or Instagram. It is all appreciated. "To those closer ones, love that is ever steadfast." I think at this point, I can say I have made you all proud of me for the journey this far.
I apologize to all of those that I may have acted differently towards but everyone grieves differently. I shut down and didn't want to talk. I just miss having my friend to talk to every now and then about how life is supposed to go. Also about the surprises he had in store for our parents. I guess it's all on hold now.
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
Hello All! I am sure you have been waiting anxiously to see how my semester ended and what exactly happened during MD3. Well, .......Life happened. I must admit that it was a very tough semester but I pulled through without letting it break me down.
It began with a peer and me working on a project to educate Anguillians in CPR but it didn't end that way. There was some resistance from the community that we did not anticipate. Luckily, we were still able to educate the students at school. Because it was a student-run project, we were able to log some tutoring hours because the certification is a requirement for the AICM semester that is currently held in Chicago. If you want to see a video I made about the project, you can look here. Never mind the music. It was my first one. A better quality video is to be uploaded shortly. The information about the project is also to be updated as well.
Also during MD3, I lived every moment in the library. There were some naps, tears and laughing that may have occurred but mostly studying to say the least. I say all this to assure you that although I did have my outlet by teaching CPR that I also made time to study. And here's some proof!
I still ate well and lost some weight through the semester but I assure you that it wasn't stress. I was supposed to be preparing for the annual 5K event that is held on the island by the Red Cross but that didn't exactly happen because I wanted to sleep a little bit. But I can sleep when I'm dead right? Plus sleep is overrated.
So even after all the studying and writing to memorize drugs and pathologies, it still wasn't enough. I when I say that, this wasn't enough. Yes this is as bad as it looks to learn. But I prevailed with this material. Life was a juggling act and unfortunately two things fell out of place.
So what am I saying? I am saying that I did not pass two classes during the regular semester. I did not plan to put myself in that position but I must say that things happen beyond your control. What could have contributed to this? It could be many things. It could be the added stress of having class until 5 pm each day and taking a break until 7 pm or it could be the time that I stayed up late to bake and eat chocolate chip cookies. Or from having to write a 5 page paper for Walden University or completing my vRx assignment for pharmacology. As you see, it could be a number of items.
So what now? Well I went home for break after my exams. My family and friends were very supportive and demanded that every moment be dedicated to studying. Honestly, I did not want to study. I was becoming content with the idea that if I had to stay a semester longer that I would be okay. After some thought, I began to develop the confidence that these exams were to be conquered by me. So here at Saint James, currently, there is an opportunity to "redeem" yourself if you fail the course during the regular. So there is a cumulative exam that you have the opportunity to take. In order to pass the course of which you must score a 70% and that allows you to pass the course.
So after the endless hours of being told to study, it is safe to say that.............
I PASSED!!! Woohoo!!! I am now in my final semester of Basic Sciences! So let me catch up on what I missed in the last 3 days. So I will run now to study hard and make all of you proud! Oh what can this semester bring?
And keep the charge of the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest, and whithersoever thou turnest thyself: That the LORD may continue his word which he spake concerning me, saying, If thy children take heed to their way, to walk before me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, there shall not fail thee (said he) a man on the throne of Israel.
Hello readers, I am a classmate of Ariel’s and I will be telling you my perspective on our current situation.
The clear sky above me, the silky white sand gliding between my toes, the salty cool breeze that passes through me, and the sun rays that warm my skin. Those are all the elements that collectively paint a vivid image of what life in this tropical paradise may consist of. And to be honest none of the above is exaggerated. Anguilla is actually one of the most beautiful places on this planet. I’ve done my share of international travel and so far no place has compared to the serenity that is felt here in nature’s utopia.
That being said, it’s so unfortunate but living here brings upon a set of burdens otherwise not endured. This could be due to the fact that all of us medical students are from the United States or Canada and we have become conditioned to a certain lifestyle. Fast internet, reliable electricity, a home free of lizards and centipedes, drinkable tap water, and proper traffic laws are just the basics that we are accustomed too. Establishments such as shopping malls, movie theaters, or even fast food chains that once upon a time were part of our everyday lives are now luxuries we must do without. All of us students have become extremely adaptable and over time have adjusted to everything like champions. Initially, the lifestyle change was brutal but like the saying goes, out of sight out of mind.
Mentioned above are the tangible compromises one must make when living in the Caribbean. Believe it or not but that isn’t even the most challenging part about being here. The part that will break you down and keep you up at night is actually an internal struggle. Living on this island and dedicating all your time to learning the art of medicine dominates all aspects of your life. While you are spending all your time in class, at the library, in lab, at review sessions everyone else is going through human experiences typical of their age. For example, I can not tell you how many holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, baby showers, graduations, and seasonal changes I have missed by being here. It feels as if everyone else is truly living and we are merely existing. We wake up and go through all the same motions, our routine never changes, and we start to seek pleasure in our work such as getting an A on an exam or presentation. We become so indulged that we forget to reply to texts or return phone calls and then our loved ones become accustomed to our absence as an inevitable consequence.
So you see, being a Caribbean medical student is not for the fickle. It takes all mind, body, and soul to be successful in this lifestyle. You must be so dedicated to the Medical Sciences that you willingly sacrifice life’s precious moments that can never be earned back. No one truly knows what to expect until they themselves actually experience this chaos of holding on and letting go, accepting and adapting. On the bright side, time waits for no one; good or bad it will pass and one day it will all be worth it. So while living here brings about the essence of summertime sadness it does so with a view. And all you can do is stare out into the various shades of blue ocean and see the bigger picture, you will be a doctor and you will save a life.
Xoxo
- M
“It is not the eyes that are blind, but the hearts.” – Qur’an 22:46
Hello guys. My name is Aqsaa, and I am one of Ariel’s
classmates. She offered me the opportunity to write for her blog this week,
which I thought I would take a crack at.
I would like to start with a little bit about myself. I grew
up in the states, specifically in Maryland, and lived there until I graduated
high school. I then moved to Philadelphia and attended Drexel University, from
which I received a Bachelor’s in Biological Sciences. I continued to live in
Philly after graduation, and worked as a Leasing Assistant, which had nothing
to do with my degree, but it helped pay my bills. At this point my parents were
quite frustrated with me, and wanted me to get to medical school as fast as
possible, or move back home. After living on my own for five years, moving back
in with my parents was not something I wanted to do. So I began my search for
the right medical school.
I honestly never thought I would attend medical school in
the Caribbean, but after about a month of researching schools, I decided to go
ahead and apply. This began my journey here at St. James School of Medicine.
From Ariel’s previous posts, you all probably already know the basics about SJSM,
so I won’t bore you with the same information again. Other than the fact that
she has mentioned that some of her classmates have moved as many times as she
has. This is true. I have moved four times since coming to Anguilla last May.
And it’s not due to the fact that I have bad experiences with landlords. It has
given me the opportunity to experience different parts of the island which I
now call home.
Everyone who attends school here has a very strong opinion
about the school, which seems to be on the extreme. Either they like it, or
they have an abhorrent hate for it. My personal take on it is that it is like
any other university or school. There are professors that are amazing and have
a passion for teaching, and there are others who probably are better off not
wasting the time of the students. I will say that the first two semesters,
which are technically considered the first year of medical school, were not too
horrible. Anatomy was a tough class the first semester, and then Physiology was
a challenge the second semester. But nothing could have prepared us for the
rude awakening which is MD3. I truly believe that having spent one month in
MD3, I finally feel like I am actually in medical school. I am sure many of my
classmates will agree with me. Being tired and headaches are a perpetual part
of my being. But there is hope that if I can make it through this semester, I
can survive anything.
However, even though this semester has been off to a rocky
start, I still try to take some time to go out and have fun, or spend time
doing something I enjoy. I recently went home for winter break, and brought my
camera back with me. I have not made too much use of it, but hopefully I will
be able to take a break every so often and take some pictures. It is really
important to take some time off from studying as well.
And say: "My Lord, increase me in knowledge."
(Quran 20:114)
I must say that I know why all the upperclassmen were running around like their heads were cut off. This semester has things constantly due and quizzes to always study for. And then, when you think you studied enough, you haven't at all. Then you go back to the slides to review the same material you may have reviewed 15 times before. And sometimes even after that, you must reread them again.
I can honestly say that this semester will be more of an isolation type deal. I think I have communicated with my family less than I have in previous semesters. Mainly communication is about the upcoming big day or White Coat. Although it isn't until next semester, it is still something to look forward to and be excited for. Plus it is a mechanism for keeping my eye on the prize. So far, it looks as if it will be August 13th which is the week after Carnival. Talk about a bit of excitement.
I will mention that this semester has challenging classes but it may only be considered challenging because class is everyday until 5 pm. Yes, we have class from 8 am to 5 pm. Monday through Friday. Three of my five classes are five days a week as well. It sounds worse than what it actually is. At the end of the day, you want a doctor knowledgeable in diagnosing infections, knowing the drugs to treat the condition and if there should be any other conditions to consider.
This is also going on while my friend and I are trying to accomplish a project of educating community members on CPR (this is the undisclosed project I mentioned in my previous post). We have had everything come together at this point and it is really looking like we will be great at what we are doing. We have our school's support and students leaving this island will have one item on their AICM checklist completed. In case you are unaware of what AICM is, it is the fifth semester in which students have review for the USMLE Step 1 and preliminary rotations at the hospital in Chicago, Jackson Park. From what I hear, they are trying to move the fifth semester to the island but rumors aren't true until it becomes reality.
By training the students for a reduced fee, we are saving the money to train community members. This project is a very large commitment and more than what I expected but it is really making me rethink a lot of decisions. The fact that I have the ability to educate others in something they need makes me want to make a life long goal of educating people of this gift that I have. So that may be an introduction for a program I may want to execute in the future. Or maybe one day call Anguilla home. Who knows what the path of life will bring?
Not to mention that I am also involved in a research project of glaucoma prevelance on the island. A professor had an idea to potentially pinpoint the amount of people that would be living on the island with Glaucoma. There is no research about it thus far but we should have information regarding this eventually. Although it may appear to be a lot, it is still what I think I am called to do. I am greatful for the opportunity to participate in all of these lovely activities. After attending church yesterday, I can only end with this:
If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
1 Corinthians 10:12-13, NLT
Later this week, I have an assignment to visit a senior citizen's home. If I am allowed, I will try to take a few pictures and get a few good stories to give readers some entertainment. If you would like to help me with my project for educating Anguilla on CPR, please do not hesitate to email me. To all, stay blessed and I appreciate your prayers for greatness! Have a blessed week!
Literally,
I just walked into my bosses office and said, "Sir, I would like to turn
in my two weeks notice now." He said he had no clue about this going
to take place. Of course he wanted to know if I was going to a competitor
but I responded that I was going to medical school in the Caribbean.
Anguilla to be exact. And the response I received was,
"okay."
So
much for a lot of drama and action from someone who "values" you,
right? It's okay because all of the events leading up to this moment told
me that I wasn't supposed to be here. I really thought that I was
supposed to work here when it all started and work here until I retired but
that isn't the case. I just don't want to work anywhere where because I
don't have a PhD determines if I can be a chemist when in fact, I am a chemist
when I graduate college. Sounds a little demeaning, right?
Other
than that, it was really hard telling my coworkers that I was leaving
especially the ones I consider my "sisters." They were happy
and mad in the same sense but for good reasons. The ones that I had told
previously, were rooting for me to turn in my notice so the
"celebration" could begin. I must say that it felt really good
to turn it in and get the secret over with. Now, time seems to be going
faster than ever.
So,
instead of having the option of not working my two weeks, I was told that I had
to work. According to the policy, it says you have an option. So
honestly, that means that I will sit in my office for the next two weeks with
my feet propped up. I did not leave them without some direction of some
of the things that I was doing. I at least wrote procedures and notes on
how I did a lot of the processes we used.
The
group meeting we had on the following Monday was pretty interesting as well.
I assumed that my boss was going to inform the group of my decision but
he actually deferred that to me. It took everything in me to say,
"Well, I quit." That isn't exactly very professional sounding I
would say but it would've gotten my point across. It seemed everyone was
happy for me; even the people who falsely accused me of harassing them.
But that's a story for another day!
So,
I have gotten rid of a lot of things in my office to other employees and I am
ready to say farewell now but I am sure that this torture is going to last
longer than I want it to. Thank God for sick days though because I don't
know how I would make it without it.
Also,
for a school update. Since last week, I submitted the final document
needed for traveling and have received my official acceptance letter to go to
Saint James School of Medicine. I can't tell if I am more nervous, scared
or excited to be chasing my dreams. I also received an invite from my
peers in a group on Facebook which is helping us to get to know one another.
Seems like our class size will be really small but I guess time will
tell.
This
new path is starting to take shape and I hold my trust and faith in God.
He has made it absolutely possible for me to accomplish everything from
birth to now and I owe everything to Him. The scripture below is a brief
description of how I feel right now!
For I’m going to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already
begun! Don’t you see it? I will make a road through the wilderness of the world
for my people to go home, and create rivers for them in the desert!
That is the question of the hour. Well, there are many factors to that question that I have to consider but I would rather talk about 4 of them. The factors that matter the most about my decision to go to school are: my job/career, my family, my friends (or what little I have of them) and my church.
Gulfport, MS
I think from the earlier posts, you can tell that my job will be one of the easiest transitions. I honestly don't like my job. I never thought I would grow to hate going to work every morning but it is very hard to be the only optimistic one at work on most days. I will miss the trips that I got to take to places such as New Orleans with my boyfriend, Gulfport, MS with a coworker and Wilmington, NC with coworkers. These are just a few of the excursions I got to experience while I was employed with this company which are the highlights of what happened while I worked here but it doesn't match up with the day to day things that I have to deal with in the office. I have heard from many individuals that have worked here and left here to find another employer due to the lack of advancement. I have no intentions of going to graduate school for chemistry due to my failure before (yes, I flunked out of a chemistry masters program) because my passion lies elsewhere. I like what I do and I will take my knowledge with me. I just know that waiting 30 years to only be called a scientist is a waste of my time, talent and knowledge and this is the best move to make me happy.
New Orleans, LA with the Boyfriend
Secondly, my family will be a major factor of questioning my readiness to leave. I am worried about my parents who will not have anyone to lean on except our church family being that they moved to Atlanta, GA from North Carolina to be closer to me. My father is on disability while my mother has yet to find a job after searching for over a year. I'm sure they will be fine but I am just hoping that everything happens to them in their favor. Also, my oldest brother has found the one and I am scared that I will miss out on this important stage of his life. He also has my niece and nephew which I will have to miss out on this part of their lives. One of my younger brothers is getting his life together as well as figuring out life with his daughter. She is only 3 years and my little buddy but I think she will forgive me in the long run. Also, my youngest brother is just now starting to realize how to live life. That's all I can say about him because he needs me more than he knows. And last but not least, my sister. I finally started to have a relationship with my younger sister after not seeing her for over 10 years for that to abruptly change and I not hear from her in over a month. I wish that our families were on better terms so that she can see how it is possible to achieve her dreams as well.
Random Walking Downtown in Atlanta, GA
My friends do mean a lot to me but I do understand that they want what's best for me. I saw one friend get married this weekend. My best friend is trying to figure out her dream and be what she can be. I don't have very many close friends so this is the easiest portion of all. And last but not least, the boyfriend. I would think it would be more difficult but being that we have dated less than a year and I tried to cram a year into 8 months after he didn't want to, it is a lot easier to leave.
My church is very special to me. Other than work and home, this is the most likely place that you would find me. I just love how I am able to learn so much from these people biblically. It's not always the classes that teach you something but their actions that tell you they are living the way that they teach. Although some don't teach at all, their actions speak volumes.
Finally I have finished my resignation letter to be handed in on Friday. I have been avoiding it but I have finally completed it. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but I also told my best coworker. That was a heavy weight because she is out on leave at the moment but she won't be back until I leave. I just felt the need to tell her that I was run off from here but it is for a better me!
I’ll ask the question that you may be thinking: Why did she
title this one $122.62?
Last week, I went to my leasing office of my apartment
complex to pay my rent with a check since they don’t have it set up to pay
online anymore.I asked them the total
of my water bill so I could write the correct total on the check.Well, the leasing laws with the state of
Georgia are entirely different from what I initially thought of them to
be.All in all, if you are not going to
renew your lease, give a written notice 60 days before your lease is supposed
to end.I did not know this
information.So I gave 60 days’ notice
to vacate in February.My lease was
supposed to be terminated on March 4.Of
course there was a fee and it now cost me approximately $400 more than I
budgeted for housing than I expected.I
literally almost cried as I wrote that check and handed it to the staff
there.I must say that it was a lesson
learned.
At work, I finished a project for another person to be told
that I wasn’t the project manager for that project.I also wrote a 25 page report that was
reduced to 12 by my boss saying that the information I included wasn’t
“necessary” for the audience of the report.I just continued to bite my tongue about it and then realized that the
report was no longer my report at all and he had completely rewritten
everything I worked so hard on.I didn’t
want to dwell on these feelings but it’s hard to see the light at the end of
the tunnel when you don’t feel like you’re moving fast enough to see it.
Also this week, I went to visit a woman I consider a
grandmother before going to bible study every week like I always do.When I was leaving, I contemplating whether
even going to bible study when my mother called begging me to come and eat some
chili at church.So I can’t say no to
that.I get to church and it’s just so
happen that the guy I sit next to knows someone who is currently attending
Saint James.He sent him a text for him
to call me.He claimed that there were
some things that I should know before going to school there.What those things are, I may never know
because I never got that call.But who
knows?!
As if I couldn’t get any more clouds of doubt in my head, I
checked the mail and received my electricity bill.I opened it swiftly because I was anxious to
see if that was in its normal range.The
bill was for $122.62.I just cried and
cried.I was starting to have doubts
about leaving especially after the week I had and the amount of money that
people were all of a sudden thinking that I was made of.My boyfriend came over that night and told me
that I was going to school because that was my plan.I immediately dried my eyes and said thank
you.I think that was all I needed to
snap out of my funk that I had.
Overall, you can’t let things happening around you and other
people’s opinions determine your fate on how things are supposed to go.In other words:
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not
overcome it.
