Again, Another Look to See Changes in Culture

Hello readers, I am a classmate of Ariel’s and I will be telling you my perspective on our current situation.

The clear sky above me, the silky white sand gliding between my toes, the salty cool breeze that passes through me, and the sun rays that warm my skin. Those are all the elements that collectively paint a vivid image of what life in this tropical paradise may consist of. And to be honest none of the above is exaggerated. Anguilla is actually one of the most beautiful places on this planet. I’ve done my share of international travel and so far no place has compared to the serenity that is felt here in nature’s utopia.

That being said, it’s so unfortunate but living here brings upon a set of burdens otherwise not endured. This could be due to the fact that all of us medical students are from the United States or Canada and we have become conditioned to a certain lifestyle. Fast internet, reliable electricity, a home free of lizards and centipedes, drinkable tap water, and proper traffic laws are just the basics that we are accustomed too. Establishments such as shopping malls, movie theaters, or even fast food chains that once upon a time were part of our everyday lives are now luxuries we must do without. All of us students have become extremely adaptable and over time have adjusted to everything like champions. Initially, the lifestyle change was brutal but like the saying goes, out of sight out of mind.

Mentioned above are the tangible compromises one must make when living in the Caribbean. Believe it or not but that isn’t even the most challenging part about being here. The part that will break you down and keep you up at night is actually an internal struggle. Living on this island and dedicating all your time to learning the art of medicine dominates all aspects of your life. While you are spending all your time in class, at the library, in lab, at review sessions everyone else is going through human experiences typical of their age. For example, I can not tell you how many holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, baby showers, graduations, and seasonal changes I have missed by being here. It feels as if everyone else is truly living and we are merely existing. We wake up and go through all the same motions, our routine never changes, and we start to seek pleasure in our work such as getting an A on an exam or presentation. We become so indulged that we forget to reply to texts or return phone calls and then our loved ones become accustomed to our absence as an inevitable consequence.

So you see, being a Caribbean medical student is not for the fickle. It takes all mind, body, and soul to be successful in this lifestyle. You must be so dedicated to the Medical Sciences that you willingly sacrifice life’s precious moments that can never be earned back. No one truly knows what to expect until they themselves actually experience this chaos of holding on and letting go, accepting and adapting. On the bright side, time waits for no one; good or bad it will pass and one day it will all be worth it. So while living here brings about the essence of summertime sadness it does so with a view. And all you can do is stare out into the various shades of blue ocean and see the bigger picture, you will be a doctor and you will save a life.

Xoxo

- M

“It is not the eyes that are blind, but the hearts.” – Qur’an 22:46

Mead's Bay at Sunset

The Last Days of MD2 and Residence Rules

Well, it has been a long, long journey but I must say that this semester was fun.  I think I am well rested for what is to come because the next semester surely isn't easy as well as the more intense studying that is needed.  It may be because of the additional assignments and presentations but I don't know.  I will tell you when I get there!

So, it is only a week and a half before I go home.  Today I had my last quiz of MD 2 in physiology.  I must say that I am very proud of myself because I did a lot better on this quiz than I did for all of my other quizzes.  Yay for me.  Just another victory before I start more journey home.  It also sounds like I am going to have a very eventful winter break as well.

So in the past week, nothing eventful has taken place.  I have been receiving a lot of emails however in regards to what to expect when you get to the island.  I can't really say because everyone's experience is different.  It honestly depends on how much spending you plan to do as well as your comfort level.  I would like to label myself as a very frugal person (or just plain cheap).  I don't like to spend more than I need to if I can help it because I don't see the point if there are little children around the world starving for food and I have the luxury of better things.  That's just my opinion.  However, some people expect rainbows and unicorns.

So by now, I am on my third landlord of which I am comfortable being with.  Next semester, I am a little indecisive as to whether I would want to move or not but I will surely keep you updated.  I really like the opportunity to try different areas that can help future students on what areas to live in and what areas to stay away from.  Also, pricing of apartments is a common question.  The answer will always be it depends.  If you live alone, you could pay from $550 on up.  The usual rate I keep hearing from people is around $650 but if you find something cheaper, you've definitely gotten a good deal.  Just make sure that the landlord is nice and they won't try to keep your security deposit.  I actually have one landlord now that owes me about $500.  The problem with trying to sue her is that the courts move very slow here and they usually favor in the Anguillians side.  So if I see her, I will try to convince her to give me something.  Because that money would have been very useful.  Two bedrooms can help cheapen the expenses because the electric bill will be shared.

Some things to think about when getting a place include getting a lease.  Some landlords insist that they will just take your word for it and not give you a lease.  Get some type of documentation in case you have to sue them.  It happens and sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  Also, try to get the utilities covered in the rent.  Unfortunately, if you have air conditioning, this is very difficult.  Most landlords don't want to pay for electricity because students in the past have had bad habits of leaving the air conditioning on.  The electricity is not like it is in the United States.  The electric bills here tend to be very high and the utilities are not very efficient.  I suggest that when you leave your residence that you unplug everything and turn off fans.  This could reduce your electric bill and possibly make your landlord happy that they have a tenant that isn't a hassle.

Another major point to talk about is the water.  Water is not a renewable resource as it is in the United States where we have water treatment facilities.  The water that runs from the facet is not palatable.  If you do decide to attempt to drink it, you will notice a very salty taste.  Water sometimes becomes scarce especially during the seasons when it doesn't rain as often.  It seems now that we are in the rain season but this summer when I came, it was very dry.  Below the houses are well-like structures called cisterns.  Water is pumped into them when they are empty from the water companies on the islands and also when it rains.  Be aware of where the opening is located so you can check your water usage as needed.  So just be aware of when you're washing your hair, brushing your teeth, washing that extra load of laundry and doing dishes of how much water you are using because it can be expensive.  So now that you know it isn't a good idea to waste water, I know you are wondering, what do I drink?  I actually drink a lot of water.  Many students tend to buy bottled water when they get here and save the bottles.  The school has a water fountain.  That's all I am going to say so you can't say I told you to do anything.  *Whistling as I walk away.

Finally, transportation can be another issue for people.  I think many of you experienced the journey of how I obtained a car on this island with me.  Transportation is dependent on you.  I honestly think I could have not had it but I just can't study outside of the library for some reason so coming to school on the weekends helps me remember the information better.  So, again, it depends.  Where is your study space?  It could be at your residence, school or someone else's place.  It doesn't matter.  If you live within walking distance of some places and you feel comfortable walking, go for it.  And occasionally a classmate may see you and pick you up on the way as well.  Renting is pretty easy to do and the rates are about $300 per month.  Buying a car seems like more of a hassle however you may get the cost of the car back in the end.  So the return on investment is better.  Overall, it is your choice.

Well this post went in a direction that I didn't plan on but I again hope this was very helpful.  This weekend is the White Coat Ceremony for this semester's MD4s. I have a few friends that will be transitioning to Chicago and I will include pictures at their discretion.  We have exams next week and I think I have a beach trip planned before I return home on the 19th.  I will be sure to update you after I can call myself a MD3 but before the new year.  Before I go:

Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

-Romans 14:4, NKJV

Quitting Time

So, Quit Day!

Literally, I just walked into my bosses office and said, "Sir, I would like to turn in my two weeks notice now."  He said he had no clue about this going to take place.  Of course he wanted to know if I was going to a competitor but I responded that I was going to medical school in the Caribbean.  Anguilla to be exact.  And the response I received was, "okay."

So much for a lot of drama and action from someone who "values" you, right?  It's okay because all of the events leading up to this moment told me that I wasn't supposed to be here.  I really thought that I was supposed to work here when it all started and work here until I retired but that isn't the case.  I just don't want to work anywhere where because I don't have a PhD determines if I can be a chemist when in fact, I am a chemist when I graduate college.  Sounds a little demeaning, right?

Other than that, it was really hard telling my coworkers that I was leaving especially the ones I consider my "sisters."  They were happy and mad in the same sense but for good reasons.  The ones that I had told previously, were rooting for me to turn in my notice so the "celebration" could begin.  I must say that it felt really good to turn it in and get the secret over with.  Now, time seems to be going faster than ever.

So, instead of having the option of not working my two weeks, I was told that I had to work.  According to the policy, it says you have an option.  So honestly, that means that I will sit in my office for the next two weeks with my feet propped up.  I did not leave them without some direction of some of the things that I was doing.  I at least wrote procedures and notes on how I did a lot of the processes we used.

The group meeting we had on the following Monday was pretty interesting as well.  I assumed that my boss was going to inform the group of my decision but he actually deferred that to me.  It took everything in me to say, "Well, I quit."  That isn't exactly very professional sounding I would say but it would've gotten my point across.  It seemed everyone was happy for me; even the people who falsely accused me of harassing them.  But that's a story for another day!

So, I have gotten rid of a lot of things in my office to other employees and I am ready to say farewell now but I am sure that this torture is going to last longer than I want it to.  Thank God for sick days though because I don't know how I would make it without it.

Also, for a school update.  Since last week, I submitted the final document needed for traveling and have received my official acceptance letter to go to Saint James School of Medicine.  I can't tell if I am more nervous, scared or excited to be chasing my dreams.  I also received an invite from my peers in a group on Facebook which is helping us to get to know one another.  Seems like our class size will be really small but I guess time will tell.

This new path is starting to take shape and I hold my trust and faith in God.  He has made it absolutely possible for me to accomplish everything from birth to now and I owe everything to Him.  The scripture below is a brief description of how I feel right now!

 For I’m going to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Don’t you see it? I will make a road through the wilderness of the world for my people to go home, and create rivers for them in the desert!

-Isaiah 43:19, TLB

Am I Really Ready to Leave?

That is the question of the hour.  Well, there are many factors to that question that I have to consider but I would rather talk about 4 of them.  The factors that matter the most about my decision to go to school are: my job/career, my family, my friends (or what little I have of them) and my church.

Gulfport, MS

I think from the earlier posts, you can tell that my job will be one of the easiest transitions.  I honestly don't like my job.  I never thought I would grow to hate going to work every morning but it is very hard to be the only optimistic one at work on most days.  I will miss the trips that I got to take to places such as New Orleans with my boyfriend, Gulfport, MS with a coworker and Wilmington, NC with coworkers.  These are just a few of the excursions I got to experience while I was employed with this company which are the highlights of what happened while I worked here but it doesn't match up with the day to day things that I have to deal with in the office.  I have heard from many individuals that have worked here and left here to find another employer due to the lack of advancement.  I have no intentions of going to graduate school for chemistry due to my failure before (yes, I flunked out of a chemistry masters program) because my passion lies elsewhere.  I like what I do and I will take my knowledge with me.  I just know that waiting 30 years to only be called a scientist is a waste of my time, talent and knowledge and this is the best move to make me happy.

New Orleans, LA with the Boyfriend

Secondly, my family will be a major factor of questioning my readiness to leave.  I am worried about my parents who will not have anyone to lean on except our church family being that they moved to Atlanta, GA from North Carolina to be closer to me.  My father is on disability while my mother has yet to find a job after searching for over a year.  I'm sure they will be fine but I am just hoping that everything happens to them in their favor.  Also, my oldest brother has found the one and I am scared that I will miss out on this important stage of his life.  He also has my niece and nephew which I will have to miss out on this part of their lives.  One of my younger brothers is getting his life together as well as figuring out life with his daughter.  She is only 3 years and my little buddy but I think she will forgive me in the long run.  Also, my youngest brother is just now starting to realize how to live life.  That's all I can say about him because he needs me more than he knows.  And last but not least, my sister.  I finally started to have a relationship with my younger sister after not seeing her for over 10 years for that to abruptly change and I not hear from her in over a month.  I wish that our families were on better terms so that she can see how it is possible to achieve her dreams as well.

Random Walking Downtown in Atlanta, GA

My friends do mean a lot to me but I do understand that they want what's best for me.  I saw one friend get married this weekend.  My best friend is trying to figure out her dream and be what she can be.  I don't have very many close friends so this is the easiest portion of all.  And last but not least, the boyfriend.  I would think it would be more difficult but being that we have dated less than a year and I tried to cram a year into 8 months after he didn't want to, it is a lot easier to leave.


My church is very special to me.  Other than work and home, this is the most likely place that you would find me.  I just love how I am able to learn so much from these people biblically.  It's not always the classes that teach you something but their actions that tell you they are living the way that they teach.  Although some don't teach at all, their actions speak volumes.

Finally I have finished my resignation letter to be handed in on Friday.  I have been avoiding it but I have finally completed it.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but I also told my best coworker.  That was a heavy weight because she is out on leave at the moment but she won't be back until I leave.  I just felt the need to tell her that I was run off from here but it is for a better me!

$122.62

I’ll ask the question that you may be thinking: Why did she title this one $122.62?

Last week, I went to my leasing office of my apartment complex to pay my rent with a check since they don’t have it set up to pay online anymore.  I asked them the total of my water bill so I could write the correct total on the check.  Well, the leasing laws with the state of Georgia are entirely different from what I initially thought of them to be.  All in all, if you are not going to renew your lease, give a written notice 60 days before your lease is supposed to end.  I did not know this information.  So I gave 60 days’ notice to vacate in February.  My lease was supposed to be terminated on March 4.  Of course there was a fee and it now cost me approximately $400 more than I budgeted for housing than I expected.  I literally almost cried as I wrote that check and handed it to the staff there.  I must say that it was a lesson learned. 

At work, I finished a project for another person to be told that I wasn’t the project manager for that project.  I also wrote a 25 page report that was reduced to 12 by my boss saying that the information I included wasn’t “necessary” for the audience of the report.  I just continued to bite my tongue about it and then realized that the report was no longer my report at all and he had completely rewritten everything I worked so hard on.  I didn’t want to dwell on these feelings but it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you don’t feel like you’re moving fast enough to see it.

Also this week, I went to visit a woman I consider a grandmother before going to bible study every week like I always do.  When I was leaving, I contemplating whether even going to bible study when my mother called begging me to come and eat some chili at church.  So I can’t say no to that.  I get to church and it’s just so happen that the guy I sit next to knows someone who is currently attending Saint James.  He sent him a text for him to call me.  He claimed that there were some things that I should know before going to school there.  What those things are, I may never know because I never got that call.  But who knows?!

As if I couldn’t get any more clouds of doubt in my head, I checked the mail and received my electricity bill.  I opened it swiftly because I was anxious to see if that was in its normal range.  The bill was for $122.62.  I just cried and cried.  I was starting to have doubts about leaving especially after the week I had and the amount of money that people were all of a sudden thinking that I was made of.  My boyfriend came over that night and told me that I was going to school because that was my plan.  I immediately dried my eyes and said thank you.  I think that was all I needed to snap out of my funk that I had. 

Overall, you can’t let things happening around you and other people’s opinions determine your fate on how things are supposed to go.  In other words:

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

-John 1:5, ESV